I am reading this underneath a mosquito net, to prevent unnecessary mosquito slaughter when they whine in my ear and I have no choice but to slaughter them or I get no sleep. Hoping this means we can co-exist… maybe…
The buzzing mosquitos are female and they are the bitey ones so as much as I don’t love killing insects, you may be doing someone a favour by squashing. 🙈😅
So sorry to hear about The Lads. Some years ago, a wasps nest occurred just outside my bedroom window and the wasps kept coming into my room, so my parents called A Man. I'd thought The Man was going to use his sprays encourage them to move to a different location, but it turned out The Man used his spray to kill them all. Every single one. I was absolutely gutted. Other them coming into my room, I'd quite liked the wasps. If I'd known, I'd have made the effort to secure my room.
I wonder if the sensation of seeing a comedian you know in a Raybans Meta ad is a bit like seeing swathes of your favourite actors - several of whom are in one of your very favourite films - sign up to be in Wizard Franchise?
"a wasps nest occurred just outside my bedroom window"
- 'occurred' makes it sound like the nest just suddenly manifested there...randomly teleported in from another part of the planet. I don't believe wasps have such advanced tech.
I’m sorry you feel poorly. Food poisoning is apocalyptically bad. We have ants in our kitchen and I carry them out individually using my credit card and dishcloth method. My lovely kid phoned from America yesterday and asked me what I was doing. I explained and they said, ‘I’m really glad I don’t employ you, but I love you very much.’ Fair.
Baby Powder....I kid you not. Sprinkle it down and no ant will ever cross the line, better still they tell their weird little mates to avoid it too. Better, better stil,, they smell like tiny babies. ......you are welcome
You're the only person I know of who has a rescue tortoise AND doesn't want to do bug murders for no reason AND is this funny. Good job I don't live in the UK. You'd get tired of my overtures to best friendship quite fast
My partner and I lived in harmony with ants in our last rental for about 4 or 5 years. They hung out at the bin in the kitchen which was by the sliding door into the tiny square garden.
They'd busy themselves scavenging away at our food waste and they'd venture no further into the house. Come bin day I'd take the bag out but always punch a hole in it near the top to give them a chance of escape should they not want to relocate to the nearest dump.
We moved into a new place last October but the ants were altogether more aggressive and we also had to call in the pest bloke once we couldn't stop them from crawling out of our plug sockets.
Our pest guy was and interesting bloke who came out more than once and on his last visit, after a chat, I encouraged him to have a play on an old electric organ we rescued from being dumped. He played the Axel Foely theme tune from Beverley Hills Cop and he was buzzing when he left, saying he hadn't done that in 10 years. He also vowed he'd now get back into music.
He's probably out there humming that tune as he carries out more ants massacres. Nice bloke though.
A few years ago in a rented flat we had a ladybird infestation and there were about 100000000 ladybirds inside and many on the door outside and in the garden. But mainly in my bedroom. It was a bit too many ladybirds so we told the landlord and he sent pest control. We weren't in the flat when it happened, and we got back and he'd sprayed pesticide all over the doorstep and front path. We didn't really want any of the ladybirds to die and we're perhaps slightly naive about what was going to happen. But we definitely didn't think that he would kill all of the outside ladybirds and leave the probably millions of inside ladybirds. The outside ones were fine because they were outside. I felt so bad that I just lived with the inside ones and it took several weeks for them to move on. The ladies.
Almost all insects are bastards. A horsefly bite on my leg has gone turbo-disgusting and absolutely enormous. Sorry the leeks and/or potatoes did violence on you!
Yet again I’ve enjoyed reading about your Kitchen and Bathroom related antics - is this a theme I wonder? Not that I’m complaining, keep up the good work!
However, a shame that the respective sinks in each of those locations failed to get a mention when I’m sure their role was pivotal in eventually achieving the peace you strive for?
I mean, rinsing the lemon juice off your hands in the kitchen, and rinsing off the ‘whatever’ in the bathroom.
I am reading this underneath a mosquito net, to prevent unnecessary mosquito slaughter when they whine in my ear and I have no choice but to slaughter them or I get no sleep. Hoping this means we can co-exist… maybe…
[quietly] if you want to squash one you absolutely can
I can hear one right now. Hoping it’s outside the net.
The buzzing mosquitos are female and they are the bitey ones so as much as I don’t love killing insects, you may be doing someone a favour by squashing. 🙈😅
So sorry to hear about The Lads. Some years ago, a wasps nest occurred just outside my bedroom window and the wasps kept coming into my room, so my parents called A Man. I'd thought The Man was going to use his sprays encourage them to move to a different location, but it turned out The Man used his spray to kill them all. Every single one. I was absolutely gutted. Other them coming into my room, I'd quite liked the wasps. If I'd known, I'd have made the effort to secure my room.
I wonder if the sensation of seeing a comedian you know in a Raybans Meta ad is a bit like seeing swathes of your favourite actors - several of whom are in one of your very favourite films - sign up to be in Wizard Franchise?
Oh yes that last sentence, absolutely yes. Very odd and weird.
May your wasp lads rest in peace x
"a wasps nest occurred just outside my bedroom window"
- 'occurred' makes it sound like the nest just suddenly manifested there...randomly teleported in from another part of the planet. I don't believe wasps have such advanced tech.
I also enjoyed the concept of a wasps nest occurring. Just off to catch my bus, hope it occurs on time.
You can also update your browsers default search engine to the udm14 string once and never think about it again! https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/05/google-searchs-udm14-trick-lets-you-kill-ai-search-for-good/ I did this for my mum and felt like a dutiful daughter for once.
OH I’m going to do this! Maybe I’ll start secretly grabbing peoples phones and doing it for them guerrilla style
I’m sorry you feel poorly. Food poisoning is apocalyptically bad. We have ants in our kitchen and I carry them out individually using my credit card and dishcloth method. My lovely kid phoned from America yesterday and asked me what I was doing. I explained and they said, ‘I’m really glad I don’t employ you, but I love you very much.’ Fair.
Update- just came down for brekky and the credit card and dishcloth method has catastrophically failed. Pull back, pull back....
Baby Powder....I kid you not. Sprinkle it down and no ant will ever cross the line, better still they tell their weird little mates to avoid it too. Better, better stil,, they smell like tiny babies. ......you are welcome
This is excellent thank you!
You're welcome. It works a treat. Heads up though! baby powder is harmeful to household pets, particularly cats.
Watched something t’other day that said, despite their tiny brains, insects absolutely do know what’s happening when you kill them, and don’t like it.
Sorry, this won’t help your guilt, but does add weight to your policy of not killing small things unless absolutely necessary.
oh godddddd but thank you x
It sounds like hard work being vegan. Hope everything has settled down gastricly and you’ve found a way to co exist with your insect overlords.
You're the only person I know of who has a rescue tortoise AND doesn't want to do bug murders for no reason AND is this funny. Good job I don't live in the UK. You'd get tired of my overtures to best friendship quite fast
I would say our tortoises could also be friends but Alison is a very solitary woman who does not like fellow torts!! Oh well
Coralie is the same. It's fate!
My partner and I lived in harmony with ants in our last rental for about 4 or 5 years. They hung out at the bin in the kitchen which was by the sliding door into the tiny square garden.
They'd busy themselves scavenging away at our food waste and they'd venture no further into the house. Come bin day I'd take the bag out but always punch a hole in it near the top to give them a chance of escape should they not want to relocate to the nearest dump.
We moved into a new place last October but the ants were altogether more aggressive and we also had to call in the pest bloke once we couldn't stop them from crawling out of our plug sockets.
Our pest guy was and interesting bloke who came out more than once and on his last visit, after a chat, I encouraged him to have a play on an old electric organ we rescued from being dumped. He played the Axel Foely theme tune from Beverley Hills Cop and he was buzzing when he left, saying he hadn't done that in 10 years. He also vowed he'd now get back into music.
He's probably out there humming that tune as he carries out more ants massacres. Nice bloke though.
A few years ago in a rented flat we had a ladybird infestation and there were about 100000000 ladybirds inside and many on the door outside and in the garden. But mainly in my bedroom. It was a bit too many ladybirds so we told the landlord and he sent pest control. We weren't in the flat when it happened, and we got back and he'd sprayed pesticide all over the doorstep and front path. We didn't really want any of the ladybirds to die and we're perhaps slightly naive about what was going to happen. But we definitely didn't think that he would kill all of the outside ladybirds and leave the probably millions of inside ladybirds. The outside ones were fine because they were outside. I felt so bad that I just lived with the inside ones and it took several weeks for them to move on. The ladies.
But what do you do when actual human Boys and Lads visit?
"Stevie, there's a couple of Boys at the door, asking if they can retrieve their football"
- "WOODLICE CAN SPEAK, AND PLAY FOOTBALL?!"
Same. An exterminator.
'I write this sitting in the kitchen sink,' as Dodie Smith said!
Almost all insects are bastards. A horsefly bite on my leg has gone turbo-disgusting and absolutely enormous. Sorry the leeks and/or potatoes did violence on you!
Wasps, horseflies, seagulls and ticks can f**k right off. Other types of animal are cool.
Seagulls are okay if you completely ignore they exist and never try to eat outdoors. Source: living in Cornwall.
The seagulls where I live are really chilled out - am a big fan
Yet again I’ve enjoyed reading about your Kitchen and Bathroom related antics - is this a theme I wonder? Not that I’m complaining, keep up the good work!
However, a shame that the respective sinks in each of those locations failed to get a mention when I’m sure their role was pivotal in eventually achieving the peace you strive for?
I mean, rinsing the lemon juice off your hands in the kitchen, and rinsing off the ‘whatever’ in the bathroom.
Love it. But how do you feel about ticks? 😵💫
I have not come into contact with one and if I did I’d kill it so fast
I’ll send you all mine. I don’t want them.
Happy to get the full whack of Steve 👌