I'd never go on a sleeper train purely because I've seen that movie, I know someone is gonna be murdered, I'm gonna be accused in a case of mistaken identity, both the detective who just happens to be on the train, and the murderer themselves, will chase me, and I'll end up running across the roof of the train, ducking just in time when it enters a tunnel.
They do, but as they turn to me triumphantly, I kick them in the face. The force sends them sliding off of the side of the train. But at the last moment, I grab their hand. Because unlike them, I do not have it within me to take a human life. The signal tower the train brushes past moments later, however...
I’ve done every class on the Caledonian Sleeper! The fancy double bed cabin only once, when they upgraded me (I had a very broken foot at the time so maybe due to that?!) which was lovely and also very strange to be on a train in a normal-ish bed.
The only difference between the other two cabin options is that one has your own private bathroom, but I’d rather pay a lot less and book the cabin next-but-one to the toilet (not the one next to it so I’m not woken whenever someone goes in).
I’ve also done the seated carriage many times which is obviously not as easy to sleep in, but only costs £50-70 usually and I use a snoozeband with white noise and a blanket and can generally get a decent snooze on and off.
THERE IS A DOUBLE BED OPTION SWEET JESUS that must be a million pounds. I hate public loos but id be interested in looking at the price difference bc let’s be honest I’m shutting down digestively between 11.40pm and 7.15am anyway
I booked the sleeper years ago and (wrongly) assumed that everyone is given a bed, regardless of ticket type. I deliberately made myself very tired and hungover, so that I would definitely sleep. When I arrived at the train, I was directed to an upright, regular plastic seat. Somebody was seated opposite me and our knees were almost touching. Probably my worst ever journey to London, and I’ve done the megabus. I’ve yet to experience the actual sleeper, the one with a bed and sleep. You’ve sold it. One day!
That was interesting! I have always fancied trying a sleeper and you may have convinced me. I imagine the rocking motion of a carriage would be soothing and comforting. Controlling wise, you control the situation and not let the situation control you. If that helps?
I've done* the GWR Night Riviera from London Paddington to Penzance in May 2025.
The carriages are a little older than the Caledonian Sleeper but still very modern, but there were only two options: either a seat or a cabin without an en-suite. Toilets are shared at the end of the carriage, but folks in a cabin get access to the first-class lounge before/after the journey where there are showers too. Breakfast is included too.
There's an asterisk after "done" because the train broke down at Exeter, so we were woken up at 5am and ended up on the platform so the train could be hauled away (there was apparently a resulting oil spill, and it was blocking almost every other regular trains from passing through). Adventure!
I did get a full refund for that journey, which cost £146.70 in total.
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On the difference between Caledonian Sleeper's cabin classes: Classic has 2 bunk beds too and the washbasin, but no en-suite, no included free breakfast, limited access to club car (higher classes get priority), and no access to the first-class lounge at the station.
"Seated coach" is literally a seat in a coach, don't do that.
Having to go on the platform at 5am is absolutely horrifying I can’t believe it. I would demand at least £10k. And good shout I will not be attempting the seated coach
I have been on one sleeper train, from Venice to Vienna while interrailling (is that a word?) around Europe. It was an absolute delight, waking up at 4am and just watching the mist on the Alps pass by was incredible! Glad you had a lovely journey and a solid breakfast.
The only sleeper train I've been on was on a school trip to Russia in 1991, from Moscow to St Petersburg. It was boiling hot so it's amazing I slept at all, but it was kind of fun.
I was looking into going up to Scotland on the Caledonian Sleeper recently, and you've convinced me that it is something I should do.
Having a Shitey Morning but dynamic jimmying absolutely sent me, for some reason. As a card-carrying *don't touch public surfaces* freak I understand the fear of sinks.
I love train travel. It doesn’t induce puke-sensations like planes and boats and cars. So I did enjoy my Cal-Sleeper experience (en-suite, bunk, exciting gift, exciting brekky). But my body-brain was mildly perturbed by the motions of lying (not sitting) on a train…and sprawled (also tall woman) in such a way that I regretted not being a controlling person and taking a motion sickness tablet. It wasn’t awful. I’d do it again (with the drugs) so that I could enjoy the brekky more (you’re goddamn right I ate it because it was ‘free’). 7/10.
My one sleeper train experience was day tripping to Edinburgh for a 19 hours festival experience one August. I definitely recommend that to London based people - I attended five shows plus tourism plus pubs and eating, you could easily do more shows if that’s your thing, and you avoid August Edinburgh hotel prices.
I'd never go on a sleeper train purely because I've seen that movie, I know someone is gonna be murdered, I'm gonna be accused in a case of mistaken identity, both the detective who just happens to be on the train, and the murderer themselves, will chase me, and I'll end up running across the roof of the train, ducking just in time when it enters a tunnel.
I never considered this - absolutely fair enough actually
I heard nowadays they only put this on if you pay extra. Cuts everywhere!
Does the murderer duck in time? Don’t keep us in suspense!
They do, but as they turn to me triumphantly, I kick them in the face. The force sends them sliding off of the side of the train. But at the last moment, I grab their hand. Because unlike them, I do not have it within me to take a human life. The signal tower the train brushes past moments later, however...
This is great! I’m waiting breathlessly for the next installment. You’ve set the bait for the tower to do the job for you, but can I assume?
I’ve done every class on the Caledonian Sleeper! The fancy double bed cabin only once, when they upgraded me (I had a very broken foot at the time so maybe due to that?!) which was lovely and also very strange to be on a train in a normal-ish bed.
The only difference between the other two cabin options is that one has your own private bathroom, but I’d rather pay a lot less and book the cabin next-but-one to the toilet (not the one next to it so I’m not woken whenever someone goes in).
I’ve also done the seated carriage many times which is obviously not as easy to sleep in, but only costs £50-70 usually and I use a snoozeband with white noise and a blanket and can generally get a decent snooze on and off.
THERE IS A DOUBLE BED OPTION SWEET JESUS that must be a million pounds. I hate public loos but id be interested in looking at the price difference bc let’s be honest I’m shutting down digestively between 11.40pm and 7.15am anyway
"And wee, but this would require a lengthy chute."
Spoken like a true Taskmaster alum
Chutes are for weeing and breakfast drinks
I have loved reading this. I have loved the illustrations. You’ve made my morning. 😁
Ohhhh I’m so glad! This comment has made my morning!
I booked the sleeper years ago and (wrongly) assumed that everyone is given a bed, regardless of ticket type. I deliberately made myself very tired and hungover, so that I would definitely sleep. When I arrived at the train, I was directed to an upright, regular plastic seat. Somebody was seated opposite me and our knees were almost touching. Probably my worst ever journey to London, and I’ve done the megabus. I’ve yet to experience the actual sleeper, the one with a bed and sleep. You’ve sold it. One day!
Oh no. nooooo. Being hungover on this train even in a bed would be quite bad I think? The rocking would cause vom!
Yeah I really didn't think it through...
That was interesting! I have always fancied trying a sleeper and you may have convinced me. I imagine the rocking motion of a carriage would be soothing and comforting. Controlling wise, you control the situation and not let the situation control you. If that helps?
I've done* the GWR Night Riviera from London Paddington to Penzance in May 2025.
The carriages are a little older than the Caledonian Sleeper but still very modern, but there were only two options: either a seat or a cabin without an en-suite. Toilets are shared at the end of the carriage, but folks in a cabin get access to the first-class lounge before/after the journey where there are showers too. Breakfast is included too.
There's an asterisk after "done" because the train broke down at Exeter, so we were woken up at 5am and ended up on the platform so the train could be hauled away (there was apparently a resulting oil spill, and it was blocking almost every other regular trains from passing through). Adventure!
I did get a full refund for that journey, which cost £146.70 in total.
---
On the difference between Caledonian Sleeper's cabin classes: Classic has 2 bunk beds too and the washbasin, but no en-suite, no included free breakfast, limited access to club car (higher classes get priority), and no access to the first-class lounge at the station.
"Seated coach" is literally a seat in a coach, don't do that.
Having to go on the platform at 5am is absolutely horrifying I can’t believe it. I would demand at least £10k. And good shout I will not be attempting the seated coach
Oh my god, I was on that sleeper train too! It was going to be an adventure for me and my daughter at half term, and turned out a little different.
We did the return journey a couple of days later which was fine.
No way! What a coincidence.
Can't deny that despite that, it's a really nice way to travel, and I still intend to re-attempt that journey some day!
I have been on one sleeper train, from Venice to Vienna while interrailling (is that a word?) around Europe. It was an absolute delight, waking up at 4am and just watching the mist on the Alps pass by was incredible! Glad you had a lovely journey and a solid breakfast.
I think I’d like to go interrailing. Feel like it’s such a gap year thing but maybe it’s time, aged 38, to take the plunge
Excellent review. Your title also reminds me of the "Catalina Wine Mixer".
hahahahah
Pack a separate overnight bag. There is a baggage car (gasp! Such a great idea!) where you can stash your vast suitcase 😊
well I wish I’d known this!!! Would have saved me so much jimmying
Stevie, I only know this because we booked to travel with bikes - they go in the baggage car, too ☺️
The only sleeper train I've been on was on a school trip to Russia in 1991, from Moscow to St Petersburg. It was boiling hot so it's amazing I slept at all, but it was kind of fun.
I was looking into going up to Scotland on the Caledonian Sleeper recently, and you've convinced me that it is something I should do.
Been toying with this journey for yonks - thanks for this!
Having a Shitey Morning but dynamic jimmying absolutely sent me, for some reason. As a card-carrying *don't touch public surfaces* freak I understand the fear of sinks.
So glad - I hope you’re day gets better ❤️
Got exponentially better once I'd had a shower and something to eat. I forget we're just complicated houseplants.
I’m SOLD at 3am!!
I love train travel. It doesn’t induce puke-sensations like planes and boats and cars. So I did enjoy my Cal-Sleeper experience (en-suite, bunk, exciting gift, exciting brekky). But my body-brain was mildly perturbed by the motions of lying (not sitting) on a train…and sprawled (also tall woman) in such a way that I regretted not being a controlling person and taking a motion sickness tablet. It wasn’t awful. I’d do it again (with the drugs) so that I could enjoy the brekky more (you’re goddamn right I ate it because it was ‘free’). 7/10.
My one sleeper train experience was day tripping to Edinburgh for a 19 hours festival experience one August. I definitely recommend that to London based people - I attended five shows plus tourism plus pubs and eating, you could easily do more shows if that’s your thing, and you avoid August Edinburgh hotel prices.
A top festival hack!