43 Comments
User's avatar
Linnea Raeanne's avatar

I used to be so distressed at waking up - it was like jason bourn got ambushed? I’d hear my alarm and immediately punch at the glass of water on my night stand. Like cross punch, with my opposite arm, not just a swat. And the next hour was a storm cloud. Quiet bird song sound machine, sunrise clock, bed stretches, make the bed, and buying an espresso machine for an extrinsic reward each morning has helped so much. Good luck!! And no, I never stopped putting a glass of water on the night stand.

Stevie Martin's avatar

Punching glass is such a funny way to start the day hahaha! Glad you’ve got the bird and espresso machine now!! X

Patrick Orum's avatar

I would literally never get up if it wasn't for coffee!

Brent Daniel Schei/Hagen's avatar

Hi Stevie! I never liked getting up much in the morning either for most of my life. … Come to think of it, I wouldn’t say I love it now, but I’m used to it because it’s usually me who gets our son up and ready for school. When I don’t have to do that—as I didn’t have to this morning—I still end up sleeping until almost noon … which I usually regret. But not today! 🤷‍♂️

And for the record, “What’s your favorite color?” is a stupid question . Like asking which is your favorite eyeball. 🙄 (Can a person with one eye roll their eye? You know what I mean. That’s a legit question.)

Cheers!

Emily Biloski's avatar

I started listening to sleepy history after you talked about it, then sleepy wuthering heights (when I had plowed through all the history that sounded fun and was not put to sleep by it at all because I suddenly needed to know everything about the gunpowder plot at 1 am). All this to say thanks for introducing me to something new and fun, and this resonated with me because my brain thinks being awake at night thinking about the gunpowder plot is better than waking up on time to go to work.

Stevie Martin's avatar

im so glad you liked sleepy history!!! but also what i should have made clear is you've got to listen to the stuff you find really boring. for example marzipan. when i listened to stone henge i was up all night.

Pandora Sykes's avatar

it’s so good it’s so good it’s so good it’s just really good

Stevie Martin's avatar

pandorrraaaaaaaa (imagine if one day we see each other in person imagine that!!! i would unfortunately do something mad like try and pick you up)

Pandora Sykes's avatar

a) we could (and should) b) this sounds like we’ve never met

Stevie Martin's avatar

i should have said 'again'. i will throw ribena on your computer AGAIN

Sara | Hydref House's avatar

I am exactly the same and have spent many a morning wishing for a magic pill that will miraculously make it all FINE

Stevie Martin's avatar

i think for some people it's coffee but i go absolutely bonko on that stuff

Sara | Hydref House's avatar

Oh that's where we differ... caffeine has absolutely no effect on me but I still drink it in desperation

Mike Cooper's avatar

Another very enjoyable piece, Steven. A couple of things rang very true with me, especially the very simple question of 'what's your favourite [ANYTHING]' - How the fuck am I supposed to answer that without having access to everything I have ever done, seen, heard, read, consumed etc. My favourite film? Sure, let me remember every film I have ever watched ever or how could I possibly give you a proper answer. Brains are great, aren't they. However, your last but one paragraph gives me lots of hope - it is true of course - You can change anything you want to change! Thank you for the wake-up call! (and good pun).

Patrick Orum's avatar

Yeah, I hate people asking me what's my favourite anything. Just randomly make something up. It's not like they can prove you wrong :-)

Rebecca Fulham's avatar

This is one of the best things I’ve read. Brilliant!

Ruth Collier's avatar

I also swing between 'god I will DIE from being awake now' to 'actually now that I'm up this is fine' very quickly most mornings. Apart from those mornings where I wake up early enough to lie in bed for ages fretting and grumbling to myself about how awful getting up is.

Also, we once made a 'favourite colours' graph in primary school, and I wanted to go with red because the red pencil we had was this really nice crimson colour, then I started worrying about whether it was my favourite colour if i didn't like other shades, and also ALL the girls were going for red or purple, so i eventually went with yellow cos I felt it was underrepresented on the graph. So, yeah.

Stevie Martin's avatar

Im so glad the favourite colour thing isn’t just me!!! Also I only wear black and I can’t now say my favourite colour is black (which it probably is) because it sounds so performative??

Ruth Collier's avatar

I finally settled on purple for colour, but there no way in hell I could choose a favourite film, book, song etc

Liv O'Shaughnessy's avatar

I related to this and laughed at this in equal measure.

Patrick Orum's avatar

So, I'm not here to offer easy solutions.

1) People who moan about you getting up late can go jump in the sea. If you got up early, they'd find something else about which to say "it's alright for some"!

2) There's no way around worrying constantly about the state of the world, because it really is that bad.

Told you :-)

Sara's avatar

Love that this has become a place for the Night Owls to congregate. I don’t like being up early and I loathe going to bed early. I don’t understand why a bed time needs to be a judgement of character. Plenty of jerks get up at sunrise

Georgina Pearson's avatar

I do sleep well but I’m also not a morning person (or an early bird, hence reading and writing this at midnight) - how’s the artists way going, the last post of yours I read you were hating it?

One thing I hate about myself is that I can never be comfortably early for a train. I live a 4 minute walk from the station so often leave at 3-minutes-to. It seems a waste of time to get there early when I could be doing my hair etc… but every time I have to run across the road in my backpack I hate myself a little bit (I’m 37, not 12, for context). I’ve tried but I don’t seem able to change this about me. It was even a new year resolution once (failed).

Sara's avatar

Hahah oh this is meeee every morning, catching the bus/train for my entire professional life. If I ever take soup for my lunch (or when I wore lots of layers for the cold and knew I’d get horribly sweaty), I have to be so strict with myself on leaving an extra minute of Not Running Time cushion

Marianna Manson's avatar

Am I the only person who finds gratitude journalling very depressing?

Also I’ve come to realise that I actually am a morning person as I like having those extra hours and also I’m definitely not a night person because my brain goes into bedtime mode as soon as it starts getting dark and productivity is turned off for the day . But the problem is I just really really love sleeping and really really hate waking up so I’m not using my mornings and basically just never get anything done

Charlotte Cambridge's avatar

I have always hated getting up/out of bed, and having recently got my autistic diagnosis I now know it's because its a transition and I am bad at moving from one state (asleep/lying down/comfy) to another (upright/moving/doing stuff) and that's pretty much the biggest transition of the day, bar getting into bed and sleeping, which is also struggle with natch. I hear Pierre Novellie, notorious autistic and comedian, describe never feeling like he "had" to get out of bed, unless there was a sniper involved, which I very much empathise with.

Anne Brundell's avatar

Frankly, I think society is just discriminating against Night Owls! It's all just a big conspiracy! Like why does being late to work make any difference if I work late in the evening? Honestly...

ria's avatar

i love how you write & i love how your brain works - instant subscribe. & justice for the Bad Sleepers.