I went through the thousands of e-mails in my inbox, deleted everything superfluous, and created folders for everything else to keep it all tidy. That was 8 years ago, and now I have thousands of e-mails in my inbox again, and I'm now just waiting to die when I don't have to worry about it anymore rather than go through them all doing it again.
This is the 4000 weeks thing! You could have zero emails - but then you’ve spent a decent portion of your life in email admin - which - great if that’s important to you - if not - I have over 2000 unread emails and the email police are yet to turn up.
Over 10,000 in my inbox. I’ve been attempting to routinely unsubscribe but I can’t delete the emails in bulk in case one of them holds some unique digital essence that will ensure my family’s survival.
Slightly off topic, but can I suggest you buy your own domain name (easier than it sounds). Then at least your emails can come addressed to “wtiterB@steelydude.net. Or whatever you choose :-)
Here at the NUSS we are delighted to read about the joy your new sink strainer has brought into your life.
This is typical of the consumer research we regularly receive and underlines our mission statement to put a sink strainer into every sink in the UK.
I’m sorry to read that your husband cannot remember where he bought it from but based on your excellent technical drawing this looks like a classic 25mm x 40mm plunge pot anti-clogger in the unisex style.
Some weird psychic link going on here, my husband just bought the same amazing sink strainer after a long time of being annoyed by ones that didn’t work and it’s the same one! Here it is for everyone who now wants one (he does not delete emails) https://amzn.eu/d/0hZNWdRJ he also got the flat fish shaped thing that goes over it and acts as a plug which is also very pleasing. You’re welcome, world.
you know what. i have issues.. i keep thinking maybe something important is in there. but the unread ones ?? you kind of have a point, let me go do that rq.
My howls of laughter while reading this piece got dirty looks for disrupting my family's traditional Saturday night watching of RiffTrax (a US snarky streaming commentary on old B horror movies). Thank you. Usually our Saturday nights consist of my gray frizzball barking at my family for their shrieks of laughter while watching RiffTrax. While I doomscroll and try not to scream in fury at my country's latest shit show. So this was a nice change of pace.
I'm glad you finally got a usable sink strainer. Though now the drain pipe gremlins might get hungry and take revenge.
Also, my partner has nearly zero emails (definitely zero unread, all the others are sorted in folders) while I have thousands and thousands of unread emails. I think that's why we get along so well. Around Christmas I gave up and deleted all the unread "primary" messages, and every single "promotional" and "social" email. Now it's thousands again.
I recognise myself so much in this so thank you for making me laugh instead of cry at myself. 🤣 also re emails to make you feel better - mine is over 20k 😭
Better not mention this amazing strainer I bought off Temu. Bag that hangs off a frame on the side of the sink, catches food but lets liquid flow through. Bio degradable.
Love Crowded House, saw them live at Wembley Arena back when I lived in London, amazing gig with a Māori dance troupe.
All the best for second half of the tour. Looking forward to Cardiff 😀👍
I have visceral sense memories of the sink strainer in mum's big special sink she was so proud of and how horrid it felt when I had to scrape my nails on the sink bottom to hoik it out and empty it. Ugh. I'm very envious of your knight condom and your helpful partner, and I am glad that you have them both.
Thank you for sharing your experience of navigating struggles on such varied scales; it was interesting to reflect on what I struggle with myself and what I take for granted. On top of that it's funny and engaging: what a lucky thing I am!
Just when you think, “Ok, the world’s problems are too big for me. I’m just gonna focus on the change I can affect in my own life,” you find yourself with eight sink strainers, none of which fit. Yep … those are the moments that honestly can drive me the craziest too. Maybe this why making tea is so common—it’s pretty hard to f#<% that up, so we can still feel capable of accomplishing SOMEthing.
I watched/listened to your conversation with Russel Howard the other day. (Always appreciate anything that takes the edge off sink-strainer tension or makes washing dishes easier.) Writing a novel is a goal I share. I’m publishing my own serially here on Substack, most of which was written during the pandemic—It’s an unusual work that I think of as a modern mythology and, considering the state of things, not especially humorous tho not devoid of it. I hope.
Anyhoo, all of this is to say that writing a novel is an incredible challenge, so writing short stories has been helpful. (Such as the one linked below with a hopefully not unpleasant audio version.)
In any case, thanks as always for your writing, Stevie. It’s a balm in trying times. 🙏
I went through the thousands of e-mails in my inbox, deleted everything superfluous, and created folders for everything else to keep it all tidy. That was 8 years ago, and now I have thousands of e-mails in my inbox again, and I'm now just waiting to die when I don't have to worry about it anymore rather than go through them all doing it again.
This is it! When you do it you can never win! You just have to do it more!!!!
This is the 4000 weeks thing! You could have zero emails - but then you’ve spent a decent portion of your life in email admin - which - great if that’s important to you - if not - I have over 2000 unread emails and the email police are yet to turn up.
Over 10,000 in my inbox. I’ve been attempting to routinely unsubscribe but I can’t delete the emails in bulk in case one of them holds some unique digital essence that will ensure my family’s survival.
Ruination.
Slightly off topic, but can I suggest you buy your own domain name (easier than it sounds). Then at least your emails can come addressed to “wtiterB@steelydude.net. Or whatever you choose :-)
"Everywhere you go, always take the sink strainer with you". Crowded House / Stevie Martin colab in the midst.
Great Sub as ever, keep making us laugh and smile. Can't wait for the next gig in the South West (hint hint) 😀
Crowded House are brilliant though aren’t they!
Dear Stevie,
Here at the NUSS we are delighted to read about the joy your new sink strainer has brought into your life.
This is typical of the consumer research we regularly receive and underlines our mission statement to put a sink strainer into every sink in the UK.
I’m sorry to read that your husband cannot remember where he bought it from but based on your excellent technical drawing this looks like a classic 25mm x 40mm plunge pot anti-clogger in the unisex style.
Best regards,
Wayne Fernando,
President
National Union of Sink Strainers
Some weird psychic link going on here, my husband just bought the same amazing sink strainer after a long time of being annoyed by ones that didn’t work and it’s the same one! Here it is for everyone who now wants one (he does not delete emails) https://amzn.eu/d/0hZNWdRJ he also got the flat fish shaped thing that goes over it and acts as a plug which is also very pleasing. You’re welcome, world.
OH NICE
Our sink came with a strainer so I’ve never taken a moment to appreciate it. New levels of gratitude reading about your struggle
So jealous
Deleting as you go is the only way; I assume your partner is a Virgo ♍️
he’s not but I think he is one in his heart
i have 30000 unread emails, so i’m gonna have to say ur husband is a psychopath for my own sanity!
thank you for the light read, Stevie
In reality, you have 30,000 ‘never-gonna-be-read’ emails.
Bin ‘em.
you know what. i have issues.. i keep thinking maybe something important is in there. but the unread ones ?? you kind of have a point, let me go do that rq.
But what if one of them is important?!
;-)
then i wouldn’t know i had it to begin with
:-)
My howls of laughter while reading this piece got dirty looks for disrupting my family's traditional Saturday night watching of RiffTrax (a US snarky streaming commentary on old B horror movies). Thank you. Usually our Saturday nights consist of my gray frizzball barking at my family for their shrieks of laughter while watching RiffTrax. While I doomscroll and try not to scream in fury at my country's latest shit show. So this was a nice change of pace.
I'm glad you finally got a usable sink strainer. Though now the drain pipe gremlins might get hungry and take revenge.
Also, my partner has nearly zero emails (definitely zero unread, all the others are sorted in folders) while I have thousands and thousands of unread emails. I think that's why we get along so well. Around Christmas I gave up and deleted all the unread "primary" messages, and every single "promotional" and "social" email. Now it's thousands again.
Hang in there.
I never thought to just go big and delete a whole folder. I must have 100,000 in each one. Do I dare???????
"Don’t ask me how many unread emails I have in my inbox, because the answer is 560."
Gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers in this racket. I myself, I have 7061.
two things:
- I hate the theme of this post.
- Jordy and I also have a bin night song (????). Can you voice note me yours?
hahahahaha yes
stevie nooo "flat foods (tagliatelle! Spinach when flat! Slices of garlic!) to slide underneath and down the plug hole"
"me thinking about the food slipping down the pipes, the spinach thwapping against the metal" AHHHHHHHHH
"while doing the final dishes of the evening, I tried to catch bits of plum tomato with my hands" IM NOT JOKING I'VE ACTUALLY CHOSEN TO STOP READING
IM SO SORRY GINA
I recognise myself so much in this so thank you for making me laugh instead of cry at myself. 🤣 also re emails to make you feel better - mine is over 20k 😭
Okay Stevie I just checked I have over 70k unread emails across all my accounts 🤢 I think i just throw it all away and go to a forest.
Re: emails. Your partner is completely normal.
hahahahaha ok whatever helps you sleep at night
Yeh, he’s not is he. We wish he was ;-)
Better not mention this amazing strainer I bought off Temu. Bag that hangs off a frame on the side of the sink, catches food but lets liquid flow through. Bio degradable.
Love Crowded House, saw them live at Wembley Arena back when I lived in London, amazing gig with a Māori dance troupe.
All the best for second half of the tour. Looking forward to Cardiff 😀👍
So glad I’m coming back to Cardiff!!! Going to make sure I go to the market this time
Get some laverbread while you’re there 👍
Amazing Laver Bread there. Ashton’s fish stall in the market, buy some bacon and cockles and you’ll be sorted 🤣
I have visceral sense memories of the sink strainer in mum's big special sink she was so proud of and how horrid it felt when I had to scrape my nails on the sink bottom to hoik it out and empty it. Ugh. I'm very envious of your knight condom and your helpful partner, and I am glad that you have them both.
Thank you for sharing your experience of navigating struggles on such varied scales; it was interesting to reflect on what I struggle with myself and what I take for granted. On top of that it's funny and engaging: what a lucky thing I am!
Just when you think, “Ok, the world’s problems are too big for me. I’m just gonna focus on the change I can affect in my own life,” you find yourself with eight sink strainers, none of which fit. Yep … those are the moments that honestly can drive me the craziest too. Maybe this why making tea is so common—it’s pretty hard to f#<% that up, so we can still feel capable of accomplishing SOMEthing.
I watched/listened to your conversation with Russel Howard the other day. (Always appreciate anything that takes the edge off sink-strainer tension or makes washing dishes easier.) Writing a novel is a goal I share. I’m publishing my own serially here on Substack, most of which was written during the pandemic—It’s an unusual work that I think of as a modern mythology and, considering the state of things, not especially humorous tho not devoid of it. I hope.
Anyhoo, all of this is to say that writing a novel is an incredible challenge, so writing short stories has been helpful. (Such as the one linked below with a hopefully not unpleasant audio version.)
In any case, thanks as always for your writing, Stevie. It’s a balm in trying times. 🙏
https://substack.com/@theisolationchronicle/note/c-146360515?r=18ckyz&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action
Misread the title as skin strainer, slightly disappointed by the piece