Love this Stevie. And love Horace. He looks very robust despite instruction deviations and setbacks.* I once bought a sideboard thing from the middle of Lidl aisle during a weekly shop. What impulsive abandon. No dimension-scouring or actual planning beforehand. Got home to find a booklet the size of small paperback novel and ten times the usual Ikea-level amount of screws and clasps and holes to put things in. It took me two entire afternoons to construct with an overnight breather having to be shoe-horned in to calm rage levels. (Sadly no Xmas chocolate to hand to console me). Anyway. I am proud of the finished thing. Three years later he is still holding up and provides a handy place to hide general kitchen clutter. I am going to name him Mark. I don't know why. *Oh hang on, just realised the pic isn't the 'actual Horace.' Looking forward to seeing him too. Happy assembling everyone.
Instructions are the weirdest thing! I absolutely cannot build anything but
I recently bought a dishwasher having never had one before and it looks hours to work out how to use it and put the rinse aid in the right place and the salt (instructions did specify not table salt which was lucky because who knew there is a special type of salt for dishwashers!)
I usually cheat and find YouTube videos for like using a specific make/model(?) of lawnmower and there is a 50 something year old ‘dad’ type who will show you how to use or do the thing and I watch it and worry about patriarchal subliminal messaging but can also can now cut my grass (not a euphemism) properly.
I 100% swear the name Horace was in my head before I read that?! Whether my brain had secretly read ahead and then made it look like I'd had some sort of telepathic moment, I can't be quite certain, but it freaked me out a bit. Just before bed. Can't see that being problematic in any way...
Congratulations on Horace! Long may he stand. The only thing I've ever put together myself was a wardrobe with a big mirror on it, but it took two days and approximately 1,700 swears. At one critical point I considered closing up all the separate bits around me and letting nature take it's course, but the feeling of pride I experienced when it was done was close to mania. I made a thing.
"I don’t think people look at bathroom cabinets when they’re on the toilet, unless they’re directly in front of you which mine isn’t. It’s to the side. I can only speak for myself, but I’ve never turned my neck 90 degrees when weeing."
Not to freak you out, but with this post you've guaranteed that every visitor using your guest bathroom now knows to turn their head 90 degrees and inspect the f*** out of your cabinet. You may as well accept fate and decorate the room with a plumb bob, protractor and laser level.
This has "long boy on the wall" vibes from the shelving incident! (which I still sing song sometimes myself)
But you persevered and the task has been mastered successfully. There is something nice about making something and seeing the effort that goes into things!
I think you had it right first then changed it - You sang long boy on the wall, then for reasons unknown changed it to short boy on the wall. Finally agreed by the end of the video it should have been long boy on the wall.
Needless to say, the shelf was fine either way. :P
A. This was very entertaining, thankyou for sharing your trauma ❤️
B. Did you consider Chester? As in Chester Draws 😬
Chester is a GREAT NAME
You were close... but didn't multiply the 16 hours by 60 (minutes in an hour) before dividing by 55 minutes per episode.
So... 17.45 episodes of Rivals. More than two seasons!
And that was funny. Thanks!
thank you SO MUCH!!! my brain just simply cannot operate like this. it just can't.
Love this Stevie. And love Horace. He looks very robust despite instruction deviations and setbacks.* I once bought a sideboard thing from the middle of Lidl aisle during a weekly shop. What impulsive abandon. No dimension-scouring or actual planning beforehand. Got home to find a booklet the size of small paperback novel and ten times the usual Ikea-level amount of screws and clasps and holes to put things in. It took me two entire afternoons to construct with an overnight breather having to be shoe-horned in to calm rage levels. (Sadly no Xmas chocolate to hand to console me). Anyway. I am proud of the finished thing. Three years later he is still holding up and provides a handy place to hide general kitchen clutter. I am going to name him Mark. I don't know why. *Oh hang on, just realised the pic isn't the 'actual Horace.' Looking forward to seeing him too. Happy assembling everyone.
Oh wow this is very inspiring. The middle of the lidl aisle!!! Glad to hear he is still going strong three years later!
🤣
Honestly this is so incredibly impressive.
Instructions are the weirdest thing! I absolutely cannot build anything but
I recently bought a dishwasher having never had one before and it looks hours to work out how to use it and put the rinse aid in the right place and the salt (instructions did specify not table salt which was lucky because who knew there is a special type of salt for dishwashers!)
I usually cheat and find YouTube videos for like using a specific make/model(?) of lawnmower and there is a 50 something year old ‘dad’ type who will show you how to use or do the thing and I watch it and worry about patriarchal subliminal messaging but can also can now cut my grass (not a euphemism) properly.
Firstly I can’t believe I didn’t think about looking it up on YouTube!!! That would have been so helpful.
Secondly thank you. I think I now realise all I ever wanted was for someone to say “that’s incredibly impressive” ❤️
I 100% swear the name Horace was in my head before I read that?! Whether my brain had secretly read ahead and then made it look like I'd had some sort of telepathic moment, I can't be quite certain, but it freaked me out a bit. Just before bed. Can't see that being problematic in any way...
Another very funny read by the way!
Forced to conclude that either youre magical or I am or we both are
Thought I’d be cute with a rhyming name but “Bad Janet the Cabinet” really isn’t doing it for me.
hahahaah I am very into a cabinet called Bad Janet
Taskrabbit is your friend 😬
I'm hoping a DIY themed video with Lola is on the horizon 🙏
Congratulations on Horace! Long may he stand. The only thing I've ever put together myself was a wardrobe with a big mirror on it, but it took two days and approximately 1,700 swears. At one critical point I considered closing up all the separate bits around me and letting nature take it's course, but the feeling of pride I experienced when it was done was close to mania. I made a thing.
So funny and so god damn relatable! 👍🤣 Can't wait to see the "real" Horace in all his glory...
Love that cabinet. I do think that Cabinet McCabinet Face would have been a good name.
Great Substack as always 👍
"I don’t think people look at bathroom cabinets when they’re on the toilet, unless they’re directly in front of you which mine isn’t. It’s to the side. I can only speak for myself, but I’ve never turned my neck 90 degrees when weeing."
Not to freak you out, but with this post you've guaranteed that every visitor using your guest bathroom now knows to turn their head 90 degrees and inspect the f*** out of your cabinet. You may as well accept fate and decorate the room with a plumb bob, protractor and laser level.
/ funny as usual : )
This has "long boy on the wall" vibes from the shelving incident! (which I still sing song sometimes myself)
But you persevered and the task has been mastered successfully. There is something nice about making something and seeing the effort that goes into things!
Didn’t it turn out to be short boy on the wall because I got it wrong or was it the other way round? God that rhyme turned out to be USELESS
I think you had it right first then changed it - You sang long boy on the wall, then for reasons unknown changed it to short boy on the wall. Finally agreed by the end of the video it should have been long boy on the wall.
Needless to say, the shelf was fine either way. :P