I laughed yesterday! About three years ago I went to a physio about my sports injury and he confided in me that I have 'long femurs' and that he 'bet I find it hard to do squats properly'. Obviously I told everyone I know about this at the time but have never actually done anything to tackle said long femurs so had really forgotten about this problem in my life. Last night I was at my pole dance class and I struggled to do a move and my friend said 'it's probs those long femurs' and I laughed so hard I fell off onto the mat, it was a real deep cut and I love my friends and my femurs
My mum told me a couple of days ago she'd signed up for a trial of something called 'Googly.' At which point my dad poked his head into the kitchen and said 'She means Gousto, Hayley.' 🤣
Was talking to my folks on a whatsapp video call (like in Star Trek) and asked alexa to switch on the kitchen light (I live in a Star Trek) and my Dad immediately shouted out "Alexa turn off kitchen" and plunged me into darkness. He and my Ma proceeded to roar with laughter like mischievous children and it really made my day.
A thing that made me laugh (eventually - you'll see why) I had an article published on the British Comedy Guide's Pro site (BCG Pro) yesterday and today received an email from BCG Pro with the subject: So You Think You're Funny? - I immediately essed myself thinking oh God, what? Until I clicked into the email to see it was merely advertising a competition for new Stand Ups, and thankfully not critiquing my writing!
Also, so pleased to see the Taskmaster news is finally official! Made a subtle gesture to it in a previous post but glad to finally see it in print. Can't wait to see how you fare!
Thanks Stevie. He made me feel so insane and gaslit the last time he was in, that I’ve resolved to just... not imbibe this time around. I will still scan the news but refuse to look directly at him or listen to his voice. We’ll see how that goes. Anyway my daughter (who is two) wanted to ‘do some writing’ on my computer last night, so I just opened it this morning to see an enormous ‘AAAAAA’ in comic sans right across the screen. It made me laugh and is funnier in a photo but I can’t post the photo here. Also went to see Nina Conti’s show on Monday and she was so funny
I have no hilarious anecdotes but referring to the too long too serious previous version of this post… I too get the mysterious shadowy figures after insomnia so it’s a relief I’m not seeing evil ghosts but that it’s probably sleep related. And when I stopped using twitter and Facebook and tried to be less online, my brain also found the same incredible loophole that shopping websites are definitely not online so I bought an awful lot of random things too early in the morning for a period of time last year!
Forgot I can’t hack into everyone’s inboxes and delete it!! It’s def sleep related or I do actually have mice. Maybe in my eyes?? Hope you sleep well in 2025 xx
Your 48 hour no internet post has been destroyed. Was it because it was riddled with spelling mistakes? I didn't actually see any mistakes, for you must have gotten to them before I did, but now the entire post is gone, so I fear there was hidden delights inside.
I think "zooming out for the regions" is a good idea, even though it probably won't be required in a few days. People will know more than just your face in the regions I'm sure. I think even in Maisee's Dip they know your face. And now all I'm thinking of is King Theoden going "I know your face" to Eowyn, but she never did stand up comedy.
It is 2 am and I am rambling so I'll make this brief. Lou's tiger print room is very Lou. Tiny radiator is no good, you need radiator that you can cling over to like a limpet.
I will only add that my wife likes to listen to murder-podcasts while she preps in the kitchen, and gets so absorbed that any approach startles the living s*** out of her. It's like a ghost has snuck up on her. We've discussed this, and she's asked me to audibly knock on the walls as I enter, or clap my hands, or pretend to wave semaphore flags. Something to let her know I'm entering the kitchen.
Now my clapping scares the living s*** out of her.
I can finally stop leaving less than cryptic clues around the place (sorry if they were annoying!). Really excited for your energy on Taskmaster Stevie, what a line up too.
I laughed yesterday! About three years ago I went to a physio about my sports injury and he confided in me that I have 'long femurs' and that he 'bet I find it hard to do squats properly'. Obviously I told everyone I know about this at the time but have never actually done anything to tackle said long femurs so had really forgotten about this problem in my life. Last night I was at my pole dance class and I struggled to do a move and my friend said 'it's probs those long femurs' and I laughed so hard I fell off onto the mat, it was a real deep cut and I love my friends and my femurs
It’s probs those long femurs hahahahaha thank you for this and god bless those LFs ❤️
My older brothers reassured me more than a handful of femur is a waste
/ loves all femurs, but more of a tibia guy
My mum told me a couple of days ago she'd signed up for a trial of something called 'Googly.' At which point my dad poked his head into the kitchen and said 'She means Gousto, Hayley.' 🤣
hahahahahahaa god I love mums and mispronouncing things. My mum called Dakota fanning ‘Delilah muskrat’ recently
There's a girl in my daughter's class called Amber. My mum calls her Coral 🤣
"They are similar colours."
My mum pronounces focaccia “focka-cheeya” and whenever I tell her the correct pronunciation, she replies “says who?” to which I reply, THE ITALIANS
poster is perfect, do not change it! going to try to drop in "we're gonna need to zoom out for the regions" into at least one conversation this year
Was talking to my folks on a whatsapp video call (like in Star Trek) and asked alexa to switch on the kitchen light (I live in a Star Trek) and my Dad immediately shouted out "Alexa turn off kitchen" and plunged me into darkness. He and my Ma proceeded to roar with laughter like mischievous children and it really made my day.
This is ultimate impish behaviour. Classic parental imping all round
P.s. Would it be really shit if I went to Lou's show but not yours? 🙈 It's a dates thing you see.. nothing personal
I AM PUTTING YOU IN COMEDY PRISON of course of course I saw a WIP of Lou’s show last night and it’s wonderful xx
Yay! Booked tickets last night.. can’t wait 🎉x
Obsessed with Lou’s wild room and the copy paste bit. U R FUNNY
Also THANK U 🥹🥹
Her house is incredible she’s done some top notch colour drenching to make up for the miniature central heating
I just laughed at the Taskmaster cast announcement promo. I’m dying to know where the pea was hiding.
I think about that particular task daily and have had multiple dreams about it
I’d like to request email debriefs of each episode but really focus on the lasting psychological effects of the tasks. That’s funny… right?
Maybe I’ll do a little substack live after one of the episodes???
Yes please!! Then we can berate you with invasive questions and comments about how we’d do a task better… how fun.
A thing that made me laugh (eventually - you'll see why) I had an article published on the British Comedy Guide's Pro site (BCG Pro) yesterday and today received an email from BCG Pro with the subject: So You Think You're Funny? - I immediately essed myself thinking oh God, what? Until I clicked into the email to see it was merely advertising a competition for new Stand Ups, and thankfully not critiquing my writing!
Also, so pleased to see the Taskmaster news is finally official! Made a subtle gesture to it in a previous post but glad to finally see it in print. Can't wait to see how you fare!
Thanks Stevie. He made me feel so insane and gaslit the last time he was in, that I’ve resolved to just... not imbibe this time around. I will still scan the news but refuse to look directly at him or listen to his voice. We’ll see how that goes. Anyway my daughter (who is two) wanted to ‘do some writing’ on my computer last night, so I just opened it this morning to see an enormous ‘AAAAAA’ in comic sans right across the screen. It made me laugh and is funnier in a photo but I can’t post the photo here. Also went to see Nina Conti’s show on Monday and she was so funny
Big love! Also comic sans shows a level of aesthetic awareness that confirms your daughter is already a genius
the font for clout on your poster doesn’t have much clout, does it STEVIE MARTIN?
I have no hilarious anecdotes but referring to the too long too serious previous version of this post… I too get the mysterious shadowy figures after insomnia so it’s a relief I’m not seeing evil ghosts but that it’s probably sleep related. And when I stopped using twitter and Facebook and tried to be less online, my brain also found the same incredible loophole that shopping websites are definitely not online so I bought an awful lot of random things too early in the morning for a period of time last year!
Forgot I can’t hack into everyone’s inboxes and delete it!! It’s def sleep related or I do actually have mice. Maybe in my eyes?? Hope you sleep well in 2025 xx
Your 48 hour no internet post has been destroyed. Was it because it was riddled with spelling mistakes? I didn't actually see any mistakes, for you must have gotten to them before I did, but now the entire post is gone, so I fear there was hidden delights inside.
I think "zooming out for the regions" is a good idea, even though it probably won't be required in a few days. People will know more than just your face in the regions I'm sure. I think even in Maisee's Dip they know your face. And now all I'm thinking of is King Theoden going "I know your face" to Eowyn, but she never did stand up comedy.
It is 2 am and I am rambling so I'll make this brief. Lou's tiger print room is very Lou. Tiny radiator is no good, you need radiator that you can cling over to like a limpet.
You made me laugh this week 👍 hope you’re zooming out to near my house 🤞🤞
Oh I will be!
I will only add that my wife likes to listen to murder-podcasts while she preps in the kitchen, and gets so absorbed that any approach startles the living s*** out of her. It's like a ghost has snuck up on her. We've discussed this, and she's asked me to audibly knock on the walls as I enter, or clap my hands, or pretend to wave semaphore flags. Something to let her know I'm entering the kitchen.
Now my clapping scares the living s*** out of her.
I can finally stop leaving less than cryptic clues around the place (sorry if they were annoying!). Really excited for your energy on Taskmaster Stevie, what a line up too.
Yesterday my teen asked me “What’s the point of pyramids?”
I, so excited with my own joke I could barely get it out, said “Right there at the top” making a little pyramid with my hands.
Turned out, he actually said ‘periods’ but we both cried laughing anyway.